How to make a marriage work?… Interesting question! But it might not be as easy as it sometimes looks to be. You can easily let a marriage end in a failure through anger or bitterness, or being fed up of living with someone who is not the same as he or she used to be before marriage.
But before probing into the question of how to make a marriage work, we must first find out the reasons why it isn’t working. This will provide us with a foundation to build on and make it work. Here are some reasons that may cause a failure in marriage:
The type of love one looks for at a young age sometimes turns out to be a total fantasy. As the person grows up, these feelings become more realistic. But there are people who carry over their fantasies to adulthood and, pampered by the glamorous love stories on screen, start expecting the same type of relationship with their spouse. When every young lady searches for a Prince Charming and every young man wants to marry a Cinderella, the reality becomes hard to face. We should always remember that no one can find a perfect partner or have a perfect marriage. So, having a lot of expectations from your spouse leaves many couples wondering how to make a marriage work.
While dating or during pre-marriage meetings, most of the couples avoid discussing sex, politics and money. We may consider it a proper attitude but two married people need to discuss these matters openly. After all, they have to run a family of at least two people in the house. Budgeting would save them from many worries. Particularly, when both of them are working, they can pool their income and decide how to spend it. Before something unexpected calls for a heavy finance, they should consider making all the preparations. If they have any reservations regarding how the other is spending the money, they should discuss it before one of them reaches the boiling point.
This is the most agonizing part of this story. Stress is the great unwanted gift of this modern world. You can either face it bravely or succumb to it. Sometimes, the couple is too busy to identify their sources of stress and is unable to find ways to tackle it. Too much stress can blur your thoughts and make it very hard to make quick or important decisions.
In order to learn how to make a marriage work, you can work on the following guidelines.
Willing to Make a Marriage Work:
The task is half accomplished if the couple agrees to achieve this objective. A reasonable attitude is required to sort things out. Arguments and reprimands will only worsen the crisis. It is not a one-sided effort either. Both the partners should be of the same mind before starting on deciding how to make a marriage work.
There are occasions when both the partners try to get something their own way. If the husband wants to go watch a movie and the wife insists on going to her parents, a good decision would be “OK, we will go to your parents today but you must promise to go watch a movie with me next week” type of thing. The same rule can be applied to various other points of conflict, including money, sex, vacations and other fields of interest.
Spice Up Your Relationship Every Now and Then:
Even if you think you have been married for ages and the original romance has faded or totally lost, you can always give it a fresh twist. Gifts and surprises are always helpful. The wife can cook her husband’s favorite dish. Husband can buy her something she longed for. These task are not so hard to do!
In short, just recall your wedding day and think of the vows and promises you made that day. Why let a marriage collapse when you can easily make it look even better?